Observations feelings, nes, and requests. Rosenberg proposes to formulate each of them clearly without judgment, shifting of responsibility and condemnation. 1. Observation The first step of NVC is observation. Explain to the interlocutor what happen and how you see it. Name specific facts without evaluation, labels and condemnation. If they are not separat, a person will hear criticism and will not perceive the information further. In communication there will be a wall of misunderstanding. It is important not to think for another person and not to generalize.
For example You are always late because you can’t organize yourself!” In most cases, a person does what we do not like, not out of anger and hatr. He thinks that he is doing whatsapp mobile number list everything right or he doesn’t know how to do it any other way. A clear request gives the other person a clear plan of action that can improve your relationship and life. To make a clear request, wording without "not" and avoiding abstract descriptions. The psychologist cites as an example a frame from a cartoon about a man who fell into the lake and shout to his dog on the shore: “Lassi, I ne help!” In the next shot, the dog was lying in the psychiatrist's chair The interlocutor.
May accept the request as a demand if he thinks that he will be punish or blam for disobience. Then a person may not fulfill it and respond with violence. Remember that the goal of NVC is not to achieve its goals in any way, but to establish relationships bas on honesty and empathy. Only such a relationship will satisfy the nes of both interlocutors. Egia Chaparyan , trainer in the field of non-violent communication, member of the Association of Russian Trainers (ARTy) notes: after reading Rosenberg's main book, The Language of Life, many people believe that NVC cannot be us in everyday life. How to talk about feelings and nes, because they will laugh, they will not understand.